


The saints we see are all made of gold

by 19RosesofLifeandDeath98



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Big Brother Dick Grayson, Gar is a tiny ball of sunshine, Multi, and his mama Kory is so proud, doesn't know how to handle feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-08-05 14:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16369448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/19RosesofLifeandDeath98/pseuds/19RosesofLifeandDeath98
Summary: "I want to hide the truthI want to shelter youBut with the beast insideThere’s nowhere we can hide"collection of Titans (2018) oneshotslyrics from Demons, by Imagine Dragons





	1. Dick and Rachel

**Author's Note:**

> I should have known I can't watch anything without wanting to make a fanfic about it. Curses. 
> 
> I'm always open to prompts and you can check me out on tumblr as rose-of-gabriel

Dick holds onto Rachel as if he can keep her from falling apart. It takes her several minutes to stop crying, even longer to stop shaking. He tries to use that time to compose himself, school his features into something close to a neutral expression. It’s hard, though, when he can’t stop blaming himself for this. Her words from their first meeting play over in his head.

_Don’t leave me here._

_There’s something inside of me. Something evil._

_Don’t leave me here._

It occurs to him that he should actually say something. All he can come up with is, “Hey.” He tries again. “Hey, come on. It’s okay.” He takes another look at the pieces of paper lining the bathtub and wants nothing more than to get her out of there. “Can you stand up?”

Without making a sound, Rachel shifts back and rises on unsteady legs. Dick keeps a hand on each of her shoulders. “You’re okay.” He says again. She nods once and steps out of the bathtub. He urges her out the door and she crawls onto the bed. She tucks her knees into her chest and pulls her hood over her head. Dick hovers awkwardly at the edge of the bed, totally out of his element.

“Those pictures,” he glances toward his side of the hotel room, “is that what set you off?” She doesn’t answer. “Do you want to talk about it?” At her silence, Dick looks helplessly around the room for some idea of what to do. “You want some pizza?”

Rachel picks her head up, barely. Just enough to shoot him an incredulous look. He swallows. “Right, sorry. I’ll just…” He snaps his mouth shut and moves to leave.

“No pineapples?” Rachel says.

Dick pivots slowly. “No pineapples.”

She glances at the pizza box and nods. Dick hands her a slice and she nibbles at it halfheartedly. With his appetite totally gone, Dick just stares out the window as if some foe will appear in the parking lot. In some ways that would be easier. He knows how to fight monsters in the real world.

“You’re scared of me.” Dick whips his head around and locks eyes with Rachel. “I can feel it.”

“No,” he says automatically, but then he’s struggling for words. “I’m… I’m worried about you.”

She doesn’t challenge him on that. She unfolds one of the hotel napkins and sets the half eaten pizza on the nightstand, then collapses onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.

“My mom was scared of me.”  She sounds resigned, like the fact is too familiar to make her sad anymore.

Dick can’t argue. He doesn’t know. Instead he thinks about the paper crosses and the desperate Hail Mary. “Was your mom religious?” he asks.

Rachel nods. “I don’t know how much she was before me, but when… everything started…” She sits up and presses herself against the headboard like she can disappear into it.  “Do you believe in God?”

His gut reaction is to laugh because he hasn’t believed in a higher power since he lost his parents. There’s something in her expression that stops him.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” It doesn’t feel like a lie, and Rachel doesn’t seem to receive it that way.

They sit in silence for several minutes before Rachel says without looking at him, “She talks to me.”

Dick stifles a shiver and keeps his voice even. “Your mom?” Rachel shakes her head. Dick remembers what she cried in the bathroom when he tried to touch her.

_I don’t want her getting out._

Dick takes a steadying breath and asks, “What does _she_ say?”

Rachel meets his eyes for a moment but quickly looks away. She curls in on herself and stares obstinately at the wall. It hits Dick like a physical blow just how ill-equipped he is to help this kid. It may be more than even Dawn can handle, but at least she’s warm and open. Dick will just make everything worse.

In a last-ditch effort, he says, “Want to watch some Game of Thrones?”

To his surprise, the corners of her mouth perk up. “Should you be watching that?” She says mockingly.

Dick narrows his eyes, but his lips are curling up, too. Rachel shifts all the way over on the bed to make room, which surprises him even more. He sits down tentatively while Rachel grabs the remote and finds the right channel.

“Mom never let me watch HBO, so I don’t really know what’s going on, but I think this girl is my favorite.” She points at a petite brunette with cropped hair and a sword.

Dick smirks. “Seems fitting.”

Rachel glares at him. “You’re that guy.” A tall knight with a facial scar says something sneering to the girl.

Dick rolls his eyes which makes Rachel’s smile return. She flops onto her stomach, attention now totally glued to the T.V.  Something happens on screen that makes her giggle and the sound makes Dick a little sad. Maybe he could have gotten to know her. Maybe they could have become friends. Maybe he could have helped her, but deep down he knows that isn’t possible. He can’t help someone fight their inner demons when he’s barely surviving his own.  

 


	2. The Gang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mom bought me a moose onesie. Then I wrote this. The end.

Dick’s exhausted by the time he gets home from work. So exhausted that he nearly overlooks Kory on his way to their bedroom. He back-steps into the kitchen, eyes roaming over her slowly.

“What are you wearing?”

Kory pauses from emptying a bag of popcorn into a bowl and arches her brow at him. She’s wearing a purple plaid onesie with accompanying hood and footies. Before he gets an explanation, Gar comes bounding in from the living room, wearing the same thing in green.

“Aren’t they great?” he beams.

Dick, utterly gob-smacked, just turns to Kory, who shrugs.

“Gar picked them up when he and Rachel were at the mall.”

Gar nods and looks at Dick expectantly. After an awkward moment, Dick admits, “Well that’s… nice.”

Gar deflates, but only for a second. Then his grin returns tenfold, with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

As if reading his mind, Kory says, “Show him.”

Gar sprints up the stairs to his room. Dick has a sneaking suspicion that’s only confirmed when Kory finally cracks a smile. He lets his messenger bag drop with a _thud_ and moves closer to her, wrapping his arm around her waist.

“If he brings out a red onesie –”

“You’re gonna wear it and not say anything, because it makes him happy.”

“But –”

“No buts. We all have to take one for the team.”

“I don’t… wait, _all_?”

On cue, Gar comes back into the kitchen with Rachel behind him.  She’s wearing a dark blue onesie with the hood pulled over her head. She looks miserable. Gar holds up – exactly as Dick had feared – a red onesie, clearly pleased with himself.

When Dick doesn’t immediately take it from him, Gar pouts. “Movie night is onesies only, so if you wanna join, you have to look the part.”

There’s still a part of him that wants to protest, but Rachel sends him a look that says _don’t fight it._ With a sigh, Dick takes the onesie from Gar, who’s smiling more than should be humanly possible.

As Dick resigns himself to his fate, Kory thrusts the popcorn bowl at the kids. “Go get the movie set up. We’ll be there in a minute.”

They shuffle toward the living room, one much livelier than the other. Dick shakes his head, unable to help the way his lips curl upward. Kory hooks her fingers into his belt loops and pulls him to her.

“Hey.” She murmurs.

“Hey.”

He’s bone tired – and _really_ not looking forward to wearing this onesie – but the feeling of her body against his makes him forget about all that. He basically collapses into the kiss and she hums in amusement, tightening her arms around him.

“Ruff day?” She whispers when they pull apart.

“Just long.” He nuzzles his nose against hers. “I’m home now.”

That earns him one of her dazzling smiles. She gives him a peck on the lips before untangling herself from him and heading out of the kitchen.

“Hurry up, before they eat all the popcorn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Endings are an illusion, and so is death.


	3. Dick and Kory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, I love seeing Kory as an indestructible bad-ass, but girl's been through some trauma and that's gotta be shit to deal with. So here ya go.

Dick isn’t sure if it’s the smell of charred fabric or the cold that wakes him. Either way, he’s jolting upright, scanning the bedroom for danger. The haze in his mind causes him to take everything in one at a time: the molten black spots on the bed sheets beside him, the balcony door hanging wide open, something huddled against the railing.

Oh shit, _Kory_?

She’s sitting on the snow covered balcony, knees tucked under her chin and hugging herself like she’s trying not to fall apart. She’s completely bare and trembling. The sight is a knife straight to Dick’s heart.

“Kory?” He’s across the room in moments.

She flinches as if he’d struck her. “No.” she barks, signaling him to stay back. “Don’t come any closer.”

Despite every nerve in his body wanting to go to her, he freezes in the doorway. He’s suddenly hyperaware that he’s naked, fully exposed to the December night air. He slowly lowers himself into a crouch, trying to preserve some body heat.

“Okay.” He says softly, no clue who he’s trying to reassure. “Okay. I’m staying here. I’m right here.”

Kory nods once, but he can tell by her eyes that she’s still somewhere else; somewhere painful, somewhere dark.

There’s a knock on their bedroom door, and then Rachel’s tentative voice. “Kory? Dick? Are you guys okay?”

Kory collapses in on herself and Dick winces. He moves silently toward the door, grabbing a pair of sweatpants as he goes. He slips out before Rachel can get a good look.

“Is Kory okay?” she whispers. “I felt that something was wrong.”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s fine.” Rachel doesn’t need psychic powers to know he’s lying. Dick sighs and grips her shoulders. “She’s gonna be fine, okay? It’s Kory.”

“But…” Rachel trails off, wanting to help but not knowing how.

“Hey, I know.” Dick pulls her into a hug that she returns with fervor. “I know. It’ll be okay. The best you can do right now is try and get back to sleep.”

Rachel gives a small groan of protest, but heads back to her room without argument. Dick tries to settle his thoughts before opening the door, but it’ a wasted effort. He eases the door open to find Kory unmoved. His heart volleys into his throat. Pulling the comforter off their bed, Dick approaches the balcony slowly. He hesitates where she’d told him to stop, and sinks down to her level.

“Kory…” She doesn’t respond. “Can I put this around you?”

She takes in a sharp breath and lets it out, her exhale crystalizing in the winter air. She nods and allows Dick to drape the blanket around her shoulders. He risks moving closer, keeping a firm hand on her back but still trying not to crowd her.

They stay like that, breathing and shivering together until Kory whispers. “I’m okay.”

Dick doesn’t believe that, but he’ll use it as an opportunity to get her inside. She’s unsteady on her feet, but she’s trying to be strong, even now. Dick only lets go of her to close the balcony door, then his arm is around her again, guiding her to their bed.

This is supposed to be their refuge, the one place where the can be themselves. Dick hates to see her like this in the place where they’re supposed to be safe. He sits with her, strokes her back and kisses her shoulder in a way he hopes tells her _I’m here. Whenever you’re ready, I’m here_.

“I don’t…” She gasps, “I don’t even know how to…” He squeezes her arm. _I’m right here._ “I remember… chains. Around my neck and my hands. There’s someone… hurting me and I can’t… I’m scared and I’m so _angry_. It’s like I don’t know anything other than hate.”

Dick’s stomach drops and his head begins to spin, but then Kory starts hyperventilating and he can’t focus on anything else.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay.” He pulls her into his lap and murmurs into her hair. “You’re home. You’re safe. It’s okay.”

Her entire body is shaking with frantic, terrified energy. He can scarcely hold onto her, but he’s trying. _Fuck_ , he’s trying. He rocks her gently and whispers useless comfort into her skin until her breathing settles and she releases her vice grip on his arm. He pulls back just enough to study her face. She looks infinitely more like herself, though there’s still something haunted behind her eyes.

“You think it was a memory?” he says, “Or a dream?”

She sighs, “I don’t know. I don’t think I _want_ to.”

He can understand that. Her eyes focus on him for maybe the first time, scanning over his bare chest and arms. An exhausted smile tugs at her lips as she opens her arms, still fisted in the comforter.

“You must be freezing.” She says.

Dick shakes his head, and can’t help but wonder what he did to deserve her. He accepts her invitation, and they bury themselves under the comforter. Laying back, their limbs intertwine in a way that’s become so achingly familiar. Kory’s heartbeat is still explosive, but she curls against Dick in a way that tells him they’re going to be okay. This is their safe place. Nothing can touch them here.


	4. Mom, Dad, and Angsty Daughter

 Dick hears Kory’s footsteps on the hardwood floor of the kitchen, but doesn’t turn away from the stove. Thoughts of last night flood his mind and he’s glad she can’t see him blush. He’s about to offer her a “good morning” when nimble fingers dart in and steal a piece of French toast from the pan.

“Hey!”

Kory leans against the counter, grinning smugly. She takes a bite and her eyebrows perk up. “It’s not bad.”

“You sound surprised.”

“I am.” Kory narrows her eyes as she takes another bite. “Where’d you learn to cook?”

Dick considers his answer as Gar stumbles into the kitchen. “Old Pennyworth recipe.” He says, whispers of nostalgia in his voice.

“Is that like Mrs. Butterworth?” Gar yawns.

Kory laughs, both at Gar and the vexed look on Dick’s face. Gar takes a seat at the already set table and begins loading his plate with fruit and waffles. Kory moves in close and Dick thinks she’s going to swipe another piece. Instead her hand glides over his back, around to his ribs where a thick gauze pad lies beneath his shirt. Always checking, always making sure they’re safe.

Dick has half the mind to kiss her. One, just because he wants to, and two, it would embarrass the hell out of Gar. Kory has other plans, though, grabbing two more pieces of toast and joining Gar at the table.

Dick glances over his shoulder and shakes his head. “Don’t make yourself sick, Gar.”

With a mouthful, Gar protests. “I’m a growing boy.”

“You’re a young man.” Kory corrects. “And Dick’s right. Pace yourself.” Gar looks utterly betrayed, until Kory stuffs both pieces of toast into her mouth, her cheeks bulging like a chipmunk. Gar bursts out laughing and Kory winks at him.

Dick snorts. “You guys are idiots. 

“Rude _._ ” Gar mumbles, then perks up as soon as Rachel appears in the doorway. “Morning.”

Rachel offers a closed-lipped smile and beelines for the coffee pot.

Dick grins. “Hey Rach, you in the mood for French toast or waffles?”

“Waffles, duh.”

When she turns around, Dick’s focus immediately goes to the purple half-moons under her eyes. He gives her a stern look, knowing exactly what those circles mean. Rachel shrugs like she hasn’t got a clue what he’s talking about. She sits at the table and starts up a conversation with Gar, preventing Dick from launching into his typical lecture. Across the kitchen, Kory gives him a look that says she’s seen it, too. They silently agree that this isn’t over.

 

 

They wait until Gar’s left for his night class to confront her about it. Rachel knows why: she’d have used Gar as a human shield, given the option. Anything to get out of this conversation. Dick sits on her bed. Kory leans against her closet door. Rachel tries very hard not to let her powers flare up and send a lamp sailing across the room.

“Rach,” Dick begins in that signature _I mean business but I’m also a big softy_ voice.  “Have you been sleeping okay?”

They all know the answer is no, but she gives it one last try. “Yeah, great.”

“Rachel.” Kory says in that way that really means _I love you more than life itself but I will kick your ass if you lie to me_.

Rachel falls back on the mattress with a defeated huff. “No.”

Dick waits for her to pick herself up before asking. “What’s wrong?”

Rachel suddenly wants to scream. What kind of question is that? When is anything ever _right_ with her? She clenches her jaw to keep herself under control. Dick and Kory exchange a look.

“Have you had any more night terrors?” Kory asks.

“No,” Rachel’s eyes flicker to Dick’s shirt where she knows a faded set of claw marks lie beneath. “Not since the one.” They’re silent for a long moment and Rachel thinks she’s going to itch out of her skin.

“Rachel,” Dick says, “have you not been sleeping on purpose?” She looks away. “ _Rachel.”_

Her throat tightens as she tries to speak. “I don’t want to risk it. I don’t want to hurt anyone again.”

It’s Dick’s turn to look away. Kory moves away from the wall and stands directly in front of Rachel. She knots their fingers together and makes sure Rachel is looking her in the eye.

“Rachel, that wasn’t your fault.”

She gives a bitter little laugh. “Really? I _didn’t_ take a chunk out of Dick’s rib cage?”

Dick’s head snaps up. “You healed it right away.”

“But – ”

“No, Rach, I’m serious. As soon as that happened, you snapped out of it and healed me.”

Rachel hunches her shoulders, wanting to pull away from Kory but there’s no point. She wants to argue and cry. She wants them to call her a monster rather than this overwhelming affection she doesn’t deserve. Dick shifts closer on the bed and Kory moves so that she’s sitting on Rachel’s opposite side.

“Do you remember when Trigon had control of me?” Dick says. Rachel and Kory both look at him. “Remember how long it took me to come out of it?”

“You almost didn’t.” Rachel whispers.

Dick nods. “The _second_ I was hurt, you snapped out it. I’m not mad at you, Rachel. I’m proud”

She opens her mouth to protest, but Kory stops her. “We all lose control sometimes. How you deal with it after is what matters.”

Rachel finally caves, melting into Kory’s side as she brings an arm around her shoulders. Dick twiddles his thumbs awkwardly until Rachel reaches out and grabs a fistful of his shirt.

“Come here, dummy.”

They’re a mess of gangly arms and stupid smiles, but Rachel wouldn’t dream of letting go. That night, before she lies down, there’s the familiar feeling of dread. The certainty that she’s going to do something she regrets. Then Dick pokes his head in the doorway, tells her goodnight and that he loves her, and somehow she gets to sleep alright.


End file.
